So this weekend we are alone. Daddy is at the races. It's been good and bad. Today Tucker is pretty sick. Seems a lot like what we had in October and I do not even want to udder the letters. However, Roger just got done being sick, and he is not running a fever so I think we are clear of anything that has letters and numbers in it!!
Anyway...Roger went up to Hill City the first race of the season, he was so excited. He has not checked in much but between you and me I would most likly be a typical woman/mom. Upset I am home alone with sick kids and he is off being 21 and having fun. Funny how life works out that way. Today I wondered, will I wake up one day and just leave. I miss having friends, I miss having a life outside of work and family. Seems like all I do is rise @ 5am, work more for less, then I come home to kids and as soon as I walk in it's cleaning, feeding, pooping, get me this. The husband wants this and that. Then hopefully if I am fully drugged I get to bed by 11 or so. Then it repeats the exact same way, at the exact same time, the next day. Then you wonder what am I missing, why does he get to have all the fun...........
Then I wake up to a sweet small round child in my bed. He cuddles up to me, or my Tucker, says, "Yes, sir mom!", and with such spirit. Well those are some of the rewards, though I think the rewards WILL out way the regrets, I still long for time alone, just me, alone, with me. Or being able to go out with a few friends have a couple too many and not have to get up early to children and be hung over.
Today though it had it's challenges, my sister Shell came over, my sister Meagan and I sat at the table and talked and talked. Shell is a great woman we talked about the little issue taking place in our family about religion. It felt good to have someone backing me up, it felt good to have HER backing me up. I feel better knowing that she will be there with me on Saturday at Mom's Xmas. I cannot wait to go shopping Shell.
So that's it. Be careful what you wish for, even 12 years later. I am not saying that I regret, I am just saying make sure that you think out those life changing decisions, those cute little buddles that bring you joy, they never leave....ever. The gifts are great, the bday parties are a blast, but they are here all the time. They only understand me time, as time for them.
I guess the point to the rant is this. I understand when he leaves how much I need the extra help. He allows me to slip away for a minute or two. So have fun racing babe, I hope you win big!! Come home to us soon, hopefully before bedtime so the boys can look at you for a minute. Just come home to me......soooon!
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