Remembering my first born....

Today at 3:08pm, 4 years ago, a 8lb wonder graced my life.  There was snow on the ground, Mommy and Daddy were at Mercy Hospital painfully and inpatient for the arrival of our baby, our first born, our first son.  Things progressed slowly, but surely until about 2:45pm.  At that time Nurse Roxxi informed Mommy that it was time to push and that this process would most likely would take 2 or more hours.  Mommy was tired, but let's get it done.  Mommy's heart had been telling me for over a week something wasn't right.  So they prepared Mommy to push and as this happened something went terribly wrong.

You, my precious son were in distress.  Your heart rate had dropped to 50, there were 10 nurses and 2 doctors and Mommy and Daddy were scared.  I think that you and God had a little talk.  God had different plans for you.  He wanted to you come into this world, into my arms.  They moved mommy, and you recovered some, but not enough.  Problem was that you were too far down to do to c-section mode.

With that Nurse Roxxi put Mommy back into place and yelled..."STOP PUSHING!"......but I am not pushing I told her.  This baby is here, were is the doctor we need a catcher.  2 mintutes later with Gammie's Black Tahoe screaching into the parking lot you arrived.  They quickly checked you and I had not heard you cry and my heart sank into my stomach.  Then in a warm white blanket they placed you in my arms.  Perfect in everyway.  The nursed asked if we wanted visitors, Mommy and Daddy said, no....we wanted time alone with you.  We wanted to just look at you.  This miracle that we had waited over 10 years for had finally and with much pomp arrived into our lives.  I loved you instantly.  In fact, within minutes of your birth you were nursing.  The nurse was impressed.  I looked at your full head of dark hair, your light blue eyes, and your long fingers and I wondered ......How could I ever love something that I just met as much as I love you.  You were my hero, God was my Hero.  He delivered you from a fate that was unknown.  He granted my prayers. 

We named you Tucker James Bastyr.  Your daddy likes snow cross, that explains Tucker, James is daddy's middle name, and well you are stuck with the Bastyr thing.  Tucker I am more and more proud of you everyday.  I cannot wait to see you race in your first snow cross race in a couple of weeks.  I hope that you have fun.  I love you more and more everyday, and without you, I am not whole.  Even when I go off to work I think of you and Bennie all day and wonder what you are doing, what we could be doing, and when that might change?

You are a blessed little boy, sorry BIG boy.  You have a family that loves you and would do anything for you, except buy to more matchbox  cars.  You are my hero, and I cannot wait to see what the next 30 years brings us.  I only have 14 more years with you.  Though it seems long, I have so much to fit into that time.  I hope that even though mommy and daddy get mad sometimes, that you never, never forget WE LOVE YOU.  There is nothing that would ever change that.  Your hair has changed, your eyes are brown now like daddy's, you are still long and lean.  You are one of the best things I have ever done.  The other is the same size as you 22 months younger, and short and stalky.  He idolizes everything that you do.

Happy Birthday my Tucker J, my pooh bear, my puss.
Mommy, Daddy, and Bennie Love you!